18TH DECEMBER 2013

 paul klee ) (paulee)

Aai (mother) 

  finally

My mother's first birthday after I found the date.

 and its os coincident  that my most favorite artist Paul Klee's birthday also on the same day :) 

for me Its amazing feeling

two days ago I thought about  momdad  I was thinking about how I take these loss to feel. I don't wanted tothought that I lost them earlier or something like that, but when I thought about loss......... I turned myself into theirs voice I started tounderstood my mother positively after, because before I lost her there was simple taken for granted relation we had.

she was simple human.

and, i as her child who wanted to live my life outside with friends and my those connected world, I come to home for two three time food or my needs and study that's it.. .. what they told or what I felt through themin me, they lost them self for me they knew very well how I am, so they told me you lost us cause we don't want that you think ever from now you lost something important when you feel lost in your life.you lost with us your everything.Now you just need to think about to gain.I was not aware nor even had any idea that I am going to lostthem this soon

i was in the second year of my art study i always been working and working even i don't know when i left my home and came to stayed near of my college with my friends ,my nature is not to worry and even i am not kind of person to care someone ,cause i don't think about others expectations from me i just stick with my presence cause there i am working and i have to concentrate with my intuitiveness to give that moment complete attention and the other side that's the important role of moment as i know it has a amazing power to gives you strength for whatever comes you next .and in those all moment i had only art . and that's the thing i never chose for any reason to keep me away consciously what things are going to happen with me.art accepted from me everything my care,my hate just everything without any questions . i even didn't did for my peace r my relief cause i always able to keep my art incomplete cause i don't feel to force things :) if its incomplete its incomplete if it gives you feel after completeness its complete in incomplete that's it.  I didn't studied Klee that much, even any other artists I just like to go through visuals more and more i always playing the unconscious  game with me every time it's never ending thing for me,That game is whatever i remember that's my love . its easy and it's don't make me limited with things of my choices which i accepted to take a breath.They don't give me feeling of machine ..i still remember those feelings within me. Sometimes when i try to tell someone any place-name or any name that moment ,i forget the important name and i realized maybe,those things are not to remember for that specific name it was essence to experience .:) so  i always feel and its very close to my belief the essence of things are always PURE my mothers my dads my every connections which i am having through the vibrations . life's need is the understanding of those things ,where i am trying to pushing my thoughts to someone for just my recognition ...... like today i always had this feel when i faced my bad moments so i chose them to celebrate  at the morning or from the some of past days i was happy that i found my moms birth date but that's like gift for me Klee born the day........so what i choose that i gain something to remember my moms birthday because i am not good with dates :) """""""""""""HAPPY BIRTHDAY KLAI """"""""""""":)  ITS MIXTURE OF PAUL KLEE AND THE AAI (AAI MEANS MOTHER IN MY MOTHERTOUNG ) MY MOTHER LOVED MY DAD AND I RESPECT HIM  :)