about Klee and Gogh.... my brain and heart picking 30 \1\2014

I was thinking about Gogh and Klee 
Some months ago on chat .
my friend told me about Gogh.
She told me he was a loser. I first time heard like that and suddenly, but not blind minded * I admitted that and I felt ashamed because I suddenly felt I am counting him on his suicide thing that's the enough thing to hate myself.. 
He was Actually?

But I started to think and I avoid reading anything in search of that
Because I accepted. 
And I knew that there is no chance to find anything related about this.Because he wrote everything.And that's the only truth. 
I believe .
So I started to think in that way with my own way .
No force way , 
Because If I force anything and I get or I find..... I don't feel happy.
After that even I felt like very tough.that doesn't gives me a joy of acceptance what i feel the important thing about to created something we  admire .i admired ...
Of course, there are so many exceptions about this behavior.

And, I felt this is not a research topic.
So I don't need to force or any kind of statistics.
He lived his own life for  in search of his path.
He struggled 
He killed himself at his struggle.
 That's true. 
But why he killed himself like that? 
Is he felt himself as a  losers? Might be possible?????? As per me
Maybe he was out of situation to even think As he spent his life's biggest span for painting. 
He created very encouraging amount from the beginning with some his own qualities ..

That's his achievement for me .
That's his dedication for me .
That's his need also .which he wanted to find.
Maybe he was unaware because of living legends. 
or the under impression of that eras movement of acceptation 
But there is no reason to call him from the viewers side .......looser .
NO 
If he was admitted that thing so then the  search way about to know why he thought or wrote that.
he was struggle r .
but for me 
he was a good human being . and he gave us something which we are admiring .inspiring through .to create to think .
that's enough or i could say that's the everyone's real life dream . 
to be a something for at least our self to face the mirror proudly.*
he was a struggler.. because i see him through his works ,his works are like something to achieve ,his technical speed .but his all works are not like that some works shows us a quality of patience .he never regret about what he got to eat or where he lived (i assume*)  in his letters 
he was is search for something about himself but some decisions maybe he couldn't able to  handleed emotionally  or he tried that way with his reply regarding to those moments . he thought he did that's is the simplest way to understand and its difficult to understand his dedications and its natural of course for the group of people who are not into this .but as an artist or  to understand of achievement i feel there is only way .....like he did i have respect regarding his thought process .my vision gave me clarity about him and his life .he was a amazing human being . 
....................................................................................................................................................................................................klee   (Paulee i call  him ) 
about the klee ......
Klee is still on the way in my mind .
he is my peace of mind about art .


i really don't want  eureka  feeling about him or about his work . 
his work's are just to take so many things about learning .....

his work is like you learn so many things about the things deeper .
as a short for now 
he took very big responsibility as an artist . and he was very busy intuitively making his responsibility .but there is awareness and a very high level hold on command for being natural .
that's so tough .









     

शेवटचे जगताना बाबा ....alive at his last moment father

शेवटचे जगताना बाबा ....alive at his last moment father

१)

मा झ्या  जन्माचे  दूसरे साक्षीदार

आपल्या मरणाचे असावे आपण पहिले 

पडून राहिलेल्या देहाला मरताना बघणे ,

तेही आपल्या बापास . 

दिसताहेत खुणा श्वासाच्या . 

पाहतोय यातना 

फ़क़्त मरणासाठी .

 पाऊलखुणा हि आता  उमटणार नाहीत . 

आहे फ़क़्त देह समोर .

 माझाही झाला देह . 

२) 

माझे बाबा जगात आहेत . 

मी थांबलोय मरणासाठी . 

मेंदू  निकामी झालाय त्यांचा .

 कधी मी एकट्यात त्यांचा हात 

हातात घेतो . 

तर कधी गुदगुल्याही करतो . 

वाटल तर फ़क़्त पाहतो . 

त्यांच्या श्वासात 

स्वतःच आपलेपण . 

त्यांनी मात्र तरीही जपला 

जातानाही स्वतःचे 

स्वपण ……. 

29/1/2014

Present LOVE is A greatest luxury.
And living with memories is like Paradise .
It happens very natural .

Like a butterfly'and butterfly life  .

mask

Mask 

20/1/2014

धडपडत असतो घरट्यात शांतपणे जाण्यासाठी.

धडपडत असतो उद्याचा उंबरठा ओलांडताना

एक सकारत्मक आस मनात पेरण्यासाठी

बरच खरतर खूपच खोट खोट असत

असा विचार करणं ,

खर खर असत असा विचारच येत नाही असं दाखवण,

पैसा

माहित आहे .

तोच करवतोय, तोच कारणीभूतहि आहे

आपण तर फ़क़्त इतकच जाणतो ससा चवीला चांगला

पण कीव येते .

माणसाचे तसच काहिस- 

I found AND TRIED TO UNDERSTAND the reason behind her smile with my own experience .SHE IS SMILING HER PAIN TOO

Its first time that I have my own clarification about my  own doubt of the Mona Lisa painting. I always had in my mind the questions.. Why Mona Lisa is so famous? really for her smile? 
"first i think it was the smartest decision" 
but then... how , why  
its a parallel journey of the other side of my daily experiences through my own vision.

Leonardo made with his clear heart ..he felt of course and he is still greatest. I believe, That era with extreme possibilities he made his creations in the greatest various way he found or maybe i could say  he innovated . Respect him from the bottom of heart... But what about money? I clearly see and feel now that his painting monalisa is a bigger victim in the art field, or thoughtfully made,I could say.
hereby i am searching those answers a with my own experiences because 

I worked in the printing company as an artist for concept creation, within a week where I work my 2 designs were selected for a sampling which was actually a good sign for me . I was OK.. Not a big thing for me ,because I always believe and trying to stick with my highest understanding of the qualities which I want to achieve , and they don't belong with short time achievement's they need some root of thought. Yes, but it was a good relief sign to start my goal. My mind was cleared about the client's actual requirement of the product.their requirement of final product ,like as it is  my designs .that's the requirement and  a goal for me and my colleagues. so there is long A process needed to take a place. I was clear about that . i achieved very  first step of product, but after that the internal politics without any concrete reason?( i am sure now question mark on your head ),without any perspective of vision started to stressed  me (and I don't think its any businesses or job strategy to see or to examine how their employee worked in the stress its not acceptable its kinda freaky minded thoughts) .. I am not that easy to shake.but the poor thing is they think one month is not enough to understand company 
i agreed for the month issue but there are so many things they need to ask themselves . too Colleagues are not harmful when you are clear what are you doing. But I was therefor a different reason.I was a happy guy i am happy person when i work  but after 28, 29 days I found me smiling for nonsense things and I immediately alert for myself . like what's happening with me? I am also surprised with the little shock, when I saw people were trying to pulling legs each other on the same job ..oo what kinda mentality is that ? I didn't understood the mindsets.it was really weird thing i have ever seen or experienced.But finally I  got shocked when company owner gave me the feeling and indirectly told that he owned me for my salary. Which I actually negotiated With my own honesty of work experience for that field.Actually, they wanted me to confuse. Poor minded

I gave my resignation after one month of joining.Which they were not accepted.because, in meeting my boss told me if you are thinking to resign, then I have to go again back step. I already wanted that and already said to my friend they need to go back. that's not my problem actually if they are thinking to expand the business with new things then they have to understand whats the research or the boss should be damn clear about the things he  want to expand ,how ,why from every expects  they need to go and recover or rethink about their vision for the future, I don't want to change anything I was there for to give their clients next level that was my struggle and I was doing that honestly.

I was not happy, but I was confirmed with my decision.And when I out my mind started to connect everything again and again and I don't want to disturb my creation.Cause now I am jobless but not work less as ever.Cause that's the delicate time of life i experienced so many time. at that time what you choose stay with you long time. ART have this strength, but I don't want to change my mood for art . i never changed my mood for my work (to write this sentence i feel funny  ) is not my mood its so close to my life my moments.

As an artist now I have one thing to express when thought came into my mind intuitively about Mona Lisa and I. is just connected everything the politics, the security about future ? the thing  whats the requirement for society to engage with topics ? EVERYTHING........... with the painting 's question of MonaLisa .she is suffering so many things behind her smile from the years but what people see her SMILE I found so many common peoples Behind her smile who working like a machine for their daily food.For their family's future .they are not worry about the smile and monalisa is easy to remember without any specialty .she is so common now and the very well advertised to root certain level of root public .she is victim because she smiled    abhijit 20/102014                                                                                                             

SELF

SELF
WORKING ON PHOTOGRAPHIC CONCEPT  WHICH I THINK  IF I PAINT THEN THE THOUGHT MIGHT BE  LOST THEIR ESSENCE I ALWAYS LIKE TO PAINT BUT SURVIVAL POLITICS ,AFFAIRS AND THE STRUGGLE OF LIVING DOESN'T ENCOURAGING ME TO PAINT THEY ALREADY CREATED DIGITAL MEDIA TO EXPRESS .

motherfather

motherfather

17 \01\2014

I don't know what is right and what is wrong .i use my ability to understand things as they are ...my priority and my efforts need to understand consequences in me . My breath accepted by my parents ... and like everyone i don't want to die .i want to be old need to preserve for that age my kid mind.

" बाबा " आमटे ह्यांचा ज्या ज्या वेळी नुसता विचार येतो.......

 " बाबा "  आमटे ह्यांचा  ज्या ज्या वेळी नुसता विचार येतो स्वतचा घालून घेतलेल्या स्वतच्या मर्यादा स्पष्ट होतात थोडस रोमाचित  (अरी मनापासूनची इच्छा ) होवून बोललो तर मला नेहमीच अस जाणवत माझे अश्रू का नाही निघत ? स्वतःला माणूस म्हनाववून घेण्याचा मग विचार ,प्रयत्न  सुरु होतो आणि कुठेतरी चार भिंतीत , कधी बसस्टiपवर तर कधी कुठे मधेच रस्त्यात असतो उभा मी आणि स्वतःच्याच न पेलवणाऱ्या दुखाचे अश्रू बाहेर पडतात शी.......पुन्हा स्वतःचा शोध सुरु होतो स्वतःतच गुंतत जातो आणि कोपर्यात जावून बसलेला पाहतो ....जिथे बाबांना अंगणात सूर्य दिसला तिथे मला कुठे सूर्य  किरण येण्यासाठी छेद  हि दिसत नाही कसा दिसणार........ स्वतःच्या अश्रूंनी मान जी खाली गेलेली असते माझी .क्षुद्र म्हणजे आणखी काय ? 

love stories are part of life

My second love story was very short >  i made her smile, she caught my tears .

its actually third and the real second i still haven't express Yet for some reasons. The very filtered reason is just i am not able to keep her . 

18TH DECEMBER 2013

 paul klee ) (paulee)

Aai (mother) 

  finally

My mother's first birthday after I found the date.

 and its os coincident  that my most favorite artist Paul Klee's birthday also on the same day :) 

for me Its amazing feeling

two days ago I thought about  momdad  I was thinking about how I take these loss to feel. I don't wanted tothought that I lost them earlier or something like that, but when I thought about loss......... I turned myself into theirs voice I started tounderstood my mother positively after, because before I lost her there was simple taken for granted relation we had.

she was simple human.

and, i as her child who wanted to live my life outside with friends and my those connected world, I come to home for two three time food or my needs and study that's it.. .. what they told or what I felt through themin me, they lost them self for me they knew very well how I am, so they told me you lost us cause we don't want that you think ever from now you lost something important when you feel lost in your life.you lost with us your everything.Now you just need to think about to gain.I was not aware nor even had any idea that I am going to lostthem this soon

i was in the second year of my art study i always been working and working even i don't know when i left my home and came to stayed near of my college with my friends ,my nature is not to worry and even i am not kind of person to care someone ,cause i don't think about others expectations from me i just stick with my presence cause there i am working and i have to concentrate with my intuitiveness to give that moment complete attention and the other side that's the important role of moment as i know it has a amazing power to gives you strength for whatever comes you next .and in those all moment i had only art . and that's the thing i never chose for any reason to keep me away consciously what things are going to happen with me.art accepted from me everything my care,my hate just everything without any questions . i even didn't did for my peace r my relief cause i always able to keep my art incomplete cause i don't feel to force things :) if its incomplete its incomplete if it gives you feel after completeness its complete in incomplete that's it.  I didn't studied Klee that much, even any other artists I just like to go through visuals more and more i always playing the unconscious  game with me every time it's never ending thing for me,That game is whatever i remember that's my love . its easy and it's don't make me limited with things of my choices which i accepted to take a breath.They don't give me feeling of machine ..i still remember those feelings within me. Sometimes when i try to tell someone any place-name or any name that moment ,i forget the important name and i realized maybe,those things are not to remember for that specific name it was essence to experience .:) so  i always feel and its very close to my belief the essence of things are always PURE my mothers my dads my every connections which i am having through the vibrations . life's need is the understanding of those things ,where i am trying to pushing my thoughts to someone for just my recognition ...... like today i always had this feel when i faced my bad moments so i chose them to celebrate  at the morning or from the some of past days i was happy that i found my moms birth date but that's like gift for me Klee born the day........so what i choose that i gain something to remember my moms birthday because i am not good with dates :) """""""""""""HAPPY BIRTHDAY KLAI """"""""""""":)  ITS MIXTURE OF PAUL KLEE AND THE AAI (AAI MEANS MOTHER IN MY MOTHERTOUNG ) MY MOTHER LOVED MY DAD AND I RESPECT HIM  :) 

Digital Work in Photoshop

The Week

Sometimes life force's needs silence to feel how much ability I deserve here, How much place I encounter for being myself , I daily travel .I Fight with my hunger, I See public same doing in travel with me some of are just to next stop,some are beyond me, that one day I felt common people (who working daily like machines 8 to 5 OR 10 to 7 whatever ) have in them a hundreds elephants strength ,to keep this world better they are balancing the world ,even when they cut trees ,they spit on walls ,they feel worst about their everything.They have power something within to bare those all things.I was numb little tears (maybe those are personal)and I started to feel and respect them as they are I see sometimes my gatekeeper wants talk to me ,I feel a mountain respect in him about me , it's so hurtful when I just walk away and to tell him goodnight and he close the gate .Sometimes I Just don't get out of those little feelings which I feel for others.They have so power to break you entire .I need conclusions myself , sometimes I need to neglect own progress for the same thing to keep alive.maybe its inner fear ,maybe it takes time to answer maybe the question is confusing to get myself.or i need to realize one thing that they are not common they have power to break you in piece with their just silence .